Author: Anyi He
Diving into life at Tsinghua University, Li Wei found vastly new territory in the rigorous academic demands and the diverse social connections the prestigious institution wove together. Li Wei initially did not expect the institution to attract this many people, but Gaokao brought him to a place he never imagined as a kid. He studied at the university for the next five years, constantly exploring something new. In the meantime, he developed a romantic relationship with another fellow at the university. He still believes that was the best period he had had in his entire life.
For the next five years, Li Wei immersed himself in a constant learning journey, expanding his intellectual horizons far beyond what he thought possible—every day brought something new, whether it was a fresh academic challenge, a novel idea to explore, or a new friendship to forge. He changed his major to finance because Zhu Rongji was the department head at the time. But love blossomed most unexpectedly amid all the academic pursuits and personal growth. Li Wei developed a deep, passionate relationship with a fellow student, and to this day, he fondly recalls those years as the most exhilarating and fulfilling period of his life.
Their romance, however, faced an obstacle that neither could have foreseen. In many parts of Asia, marriage and the continuation of the family line are seen not just as personal milestones but as profoundly rooted cultural imperatives. It is a classical trend in China, especially for the elders, to question the marital status of the minors constantly. The particular weight of family honor and tradition reinforces the expectations to marry and bear children, to “pass down the blood.” Li Wei’s parents, particularly his mother, were no exception. Although deeply in love, Li Wei and his love did not move any further than kissing for the years they had together. One potential reason is the cultural difference between the urban and the rural. Urbanhoods emphasize sustainability and long-term relationships that take years to cultivate. There is much less emphasis on having children in these areas. However, Liwei’s mother did not buy this. She and Li Wei grew increasingly restless as the years passed, and the couple remained in a seemingly stagnant relationship without the expected next step toward marriage.
Li Wei’s mother, a sharp and influential woman who prided herself on her family’s reputation, saw an opportunity to intervene during a Majiang game (a traditional Chinese board game) with her friends in their hometown of Panzhihua. One of the women introduced her to a potential match for her son, Su Mei (also modified for privacy), a young lady she believed was far more suitable for marriage than Li Wei’s long-time girlfriend. Seizing the chance to guide her son’s future, Li Wei’s mother planned to separate him from his university girlfriend and introduce him to this new woman.
The shift was swift and jarring. Within the first week of meeting the new woman, sparks flew between Li Wei and his mother’s chosen match. It was a whirlwind romance that bore fruit almost immediately, a connection that seemed effortless and, in stark contrast to his years-long relationship, moved quickly toward a clear future. The couple soon realized they were perfectly aligned, and what started as an arranged connection unexpectedly blossomed into a love they both embraced as destiny.