Author Cindy Tian

Why?

“You don't have a true conclusion.”

“You are doing a summary, rather than a analysis.”

Why?

Why am I 88 when all my friends are 100?

My english was way better than them

I had more experience

And yet, and yet, I was way lower than them

What did I do wrong?

Everytime, it was a different reason

But why?

Was I really worse than them?

Or was I just writing too much freestyle?

I do not understand

I just, don’t.

I did not cry when I saw the score

I was right, I got a bad grade.

But I had to cry now, when I’m thinking about it

Last time, it was also them who all got an A while I stayed at a C

I don’t know if it is fair or not

I don’t know

I just know, that I have begun to hate essays

Because I just can’t get the gest of it

Maybe I’ll never be able to

I just can’t

I just don’t know how

I think I cried

the day that they, who always asked me for help in class and homework, had their GPAs higher than me

I just don’t understand

what on earth did I do wrong

was I wrong for being me?

for just being myself?

“You still did a good job.”

Of course he said that

he always said that

just to comfort me

but for me, that’s just adds to my pain

it’s like irony

the iron slicing my skin open

tearing at my old wounds